THE UNSPOKEN RULE OF ADULT FRIENDSHIP: GET ALONG WELL

Estimated read time 6 min read

The highest state of making friends is casual but not estranged, intimate but not over the line, get along comfortably, shade appropriate.

Have you ever met someone like this in your life?

Send a friend circle, you do not click the like, he will suspect you deliberately estranged.

He complained that you did not give him face when he tried to persuade you to drink at the wine table.

Making decisions for you, thinking your relationship is too good to discuss, without considering your feelings.

Such a friend, get along with really tired.

I have read such a sentence, “A good relationship is not about money, not about interests, not about distance, but about whether to get along comfortably.”

True good friendship, will not make people tired, but let people like spring breeze.

The most important thing to make friends is not you to me, not intimate, but to get along comfortably.

True friends are casual and not distant

The ancient saying goes: “The friendship of a gentleman, its light as water, the elephant and seek, miles away.”

Such is the interaction between people, each other can not interfere, but do not forget to always care; Distance can be near and far, but not inseparable.

National first class actor Chen Daoming, although contact with a lot of people, but the circle of communication is simple, so a few friends.

He stayed home, reading books and practicing calligraphy, while many others were busy expanding their connections amid the wine-drinking entertainment world.

He has no interest in prying into other people’s private affairs, and he will not talk about his own affairs.

He treated all his friends with indifference, including Man Wenjun.

Manwenjun once relied on a “understand you” and very red, later life is straight downhill.

During those down days, he said in an interview, his friends who usually seemed close stayed away, and only Mr. Chen, who didn’t communicate much, sent messages of encouragement.

When he took part in the recording of I Am a Singer, Chen Daoming also accompanied him to lose weight, exercise, choose songs, and accompany him through the lowest period of his life.

It’s not so much that people worth dating are good at icing on the cake, as that true friends are better at helping people in times of need.

The more sincere friends, the more not deliberately modify your friendship, but in need of help without hesitation.

Because of understanding, so random; Because care, so not alienated.

Each rest assured and care about each other, is the best interpretation of friendship.

A comfortable relationship is intimate without crossing the line

Bi Shumin once said, “Keeping a close distance is the most appropriate way to communicate.”

Do not cross the line of friendship, can endure; Measured relationship, can be long flow.

Mo Yan and Yu Hua were not only peers and classmates, but also bedfellows.

Not long ago, they attended the online launch of “Life and Death Are Wearing Me Out.”

Mo Yan and Yu Hua recall their friendships at school, where they shared cramped cabins and then turned around to meet their friends, so close they used a toothpaste and all but wore the same pair of pants.

However, they did not interfere with each other’s writing career because of their close relationship and the same interests.

When they wrote in their dorm room, there was only a cabinet between them. If they looked at each other, inspiration would disappear.

To improve their writing efficiency, they had to hang a calendar in the middle, completely separating them.

True friends, no matter how close, will not easily cross the line, so get along, will be comfortable.

“A sense of proportion is a sign of mature love,” Zhou said. “In interpersonal communication, we should know how to observe the necessary distance between people.”

Behind the comfortable relationship, is the maintenance of the sense of boundary, the control of proportion, this is a kind of friends, for friendship, is a kind of help.

Online popular such a saying: “Speak a ruler, frolic degree, do more, speak with virtue.”

A comfortable relationship is one in which you treat yourself appropriately and others with dignity.

“Relationships are about people figuring out where they can go with each other,” Tsai says.

Therefore, the heart has a ruler, treat people have degree. Friends can not cross the line, the sense of propriety can not be lost, between friends will not produce a gap, anti-estrangement.

The best friendship is to get along comfortably

As the saying goes: “Until the season, I do not know whether it is warm or cold; If people don’t get along, they don’t know how good they are.”

Zeng Guofan had two close friends in his life, Guo Songtao and Liu Rong.

When Zeng Guofan went to Beijing, his two friends were often frustrated. However, Zeng Guofan did not look down on his friends. He still recognized and appreciated the ambition and talent of his two friends.

When the Taiping uprising broke out, Zeng Guofan sent a letter to two friends to recommend them.

But neither friend agreed, for they had no ambition to become officials.

Zeng Guofan, though deeply regretful, respected his friend’s wishes and had no choice but to give up.

The most comfortable way to get along is this, friendship always coincides with the time, people are always near and far, love is always thick and light appropriate.

The article says:

“There are people who stand in front of you as if they were across the Pacific and talk as if they were crossing mountains; There are people who are miles apart and don’t have jet lag and don’t need to say they understand each other.”

Only with the right respect and empathy can we understand each other’s situation and then move forward and forward.

Needless to say, no coercion, heart clearly, is the most comfortable friendship.

I once read this question online: “The best friendship you’ve ever seen, what’s it like?”

One popular answer is, “Good friendships are easy to get along with.”

Between friends, there should be not far distance, shade appropriate exchanges, put in the position of respect, to get along with comfortable friendship.

In the comments section of the song “Friends,” one user said:

“From stranger to familiar, from acquaintance to acquaintance, making friends is a process of constant running-in between two people until they feel comfortable. If you have a friend like that, you must be kind to the years.”

The highest state of making friends is casual but not estranged, intimate but not over the line, get along comfortably, shade appropriate.

Lu Xun said: “life has a bosom friend is enough.”

May you both find good friends for life, and have a good time together, if not forever.

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